I've noticed something strange about myself.

Give me something complicated and I'm fine.

Actually, I'm often better than fine.

I can sit for four hours working on something that requires concentration, decisions, problem-solving and a ridiculous number of tiny adjustments. I can build something, rewrite it, change my mind, move things around, decide what belongs and what doesn't.

And somehow, that doesn't overwhelm me.

But give me three small things that need to be done quickly?

Suddenly, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Apparently, difficult isn't always difficult

I used to think productivity was mostly about how hard something was.

It isn't. At least not for me.

A long project can take hours, days or weeks and still feel easier than something that should take fifteen minutes.

When I'm working on something meaningful, I can disappear into it.

There is a direction.

There is something to solve.

There is enough space for me to think.

And maybe most importantly, I'm not constantly switching between do this, answer that, remember this, don't forget that.

My brain seems perfectly happy with:

Here is one big thing. Figure it out.

It is considerably less enthusiastic about:

Here are seven easy things. Do them before lunch.

I think I'm more productive when I can go deep

And it doesn't even have to be my idea.

Someone else can give me a substantial project and, as long as I understand what I'm trying to accomplish, I can get completely absorbed in it.

I like thinking.

I like figuring things out.

I like having enough time with something to develop an opinion about it.

What do I want here?

What doesn't work?

What would make this better?

I can spend four hours making those decisions and somehow still feel productive.

Then I remember I need to send one email, make one phone call and upload one thing somewhere.

And my brain goes:

Absolutely not.

😂

Small tasks have a strange kind of pressure

Maybe it's because small things aren't supposed to be difficult.

If something takes four hours, I expect it to require effort.

If something should take five minutes, I expect myself to just do it.

So when I don't immediately do it, I become irritated with myself.

Now the five-minute task has been sitting there for two hours.

Then I start thinking about the fact that I haven't done it.

Which means I'm now spending considerably more energy avoiding a tiny task than the task itself would have required.

Very efficient.

Short deadlines make it worse

There is also something about quickly that completely changes things for me.

I can solve complicated problems when I have room to think.

But tell me something simple needs to happen right now and suddenly I'm rushing, forgetting things and getting annoyed.

Not because the thing is difficult.

Because I don't feel like I have enough mental space around it.

And I'm starting to realize that this is an important distinction.

Maybe what overwhelms us isn't always the amount of work.

Sometimes it's the fragmentation of our attention.

Maybe productivity isn't about doing more

I'm slowly learning that I don't need to turn myself into someone who happily completes seventeen tiny tasks before breakfast.

I probably never will be that person.

What I can do is stop pretending every type of work requires the same version of me.

For deeper work, I need time.

For small things, I need simplicity.

And for those annoying little tasks I keep postponing, I probably need to stop waiting until I feel like doing them.

Because apparently I can spend four hours solving a complicated problem without complaining…

but asking me to complete something that takes six minutes?

Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.